A "sick" physician--finds help & serenity: his story.

I was born of highly educated parents into a middle class family where there was no drinking, smoking or drug abuse (prescription or nonprescription). Despite little emotional support at home we received privileged private school educations. All three of us were successful and all three of us were addicts of some sort. Though far from down and out my sister committed suicide at the age of thirty-five and my brother is a functioning, reclusive alcoholic who I have not seen for over twenty (20) years. I did not have a drink until I was eighteen (18) years old. Suddenly I found the magical comfort I was seeking .... my first spiritual awakening. I completed medical school and residency without difficulty despite being a binge drinker. Once free of the constraints of formal supervision, my drinking escalated and became continuous and pathologic. I managed to practice medicine successfully and hid my drinking well; but it was only a matter of time before a personal or professional disaster would have occurred. My health was already failing; I had constant emotional and physical pain and was psychologically tortured.